Note to Myself No. 16

To be totally honest,

when you're the reluctant partner

in the end of a marriage 

(or marriage-like relationship),

even if you're the one who says

"I can't do this anymore"

and precipitates the rupture,

actually severing the heart connection

is WAY harder than 

terminating the legal connection.

The Beatles sang

"gotta get you into my heart."

Easy stuff.

Develop an attachment,

fall in love,

and BAM!

The object of your desire

is there,

in your thoughts,

your longings,

your dreams,

your heart.

Reverse engineering should be 

just as simple.

But it's not.

Turns out that --

at least for long-term,

wholehearted relationships,

getting somebody out of your heart

takes a whole hell of a lot longer

and tons more effort & intention

that getting them in your heart

in the first place.

When your heart gets broken,

you've got to put yourself back together

piece by piece

before your can 

unbreak your heart.