Note to Myself No. 21

Trauma seems to sear memories into our brains

in a way that more lovely, gentle experiences don't.

That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.

We need to remember those things that caused us harm

so we can recognize the signs and flee (or fight)

before catastrophe sets in.

But do we really want our mental hard drives

filled up with awful?

Better to learn the lessons and move on,

storing the distilled wisdom

and separating out the searing trauma.

So there is room for the good stuff.

Like the giggles and pretend

of little boys playing with Matchbox cars

and Legos. . . .

not the X@%**! when you step on one 

in your bare feet.

That's the easy stuff, of course.

It's a different magnitude when you're talking

about memories of abuse, betrayal, war, 

criminal victimization and the like.

Meditation can retrain your brain.

A gratitude practice also helps.

The secret is in your thought-life.