Meri's Musings

For the last two or three years, I've done Notes to Myself in lieu of those all-too-meaningless New Year Resolutions. Ordinarily, I post them one-a-day during the month of January, but I wanted to participate in  Susannah Conway's Gentle January meme, so this year I'm posting in February. This is a prescription  that I won't have any hesitation in following. I am an unabashed bibliophile. I love to read and be enthralled by a captivating story. Or, for that matter, to learn something new, to be exposed to divergent points of view, and sometimes to be awed -- not by words -- but by stunning photographs. After I sold the house I'd shared with my spouse (now the spouse of someone else) and bought a much more modest home of my own, I donated hundreds of books to the local library for its annual book sale.  I kept hundreds, perhaps over a thousand, more and had to pack and move them. I also had to buy...

We all have something to contribute. It may be our compassion, a quirky sense of humor, our capacity to be truth tellers. It may be the beauty we create  with our hands, words, or voices. It may be the peace we create within and radiate outward. It might be our unique way of problem-solving, the way we laugh, how we help others connect  with just the right people, our curiosity and enthusiasm. But like Dr. Seuss said, there's nobody who is you-er than you. Celebrate you. You're one of a kind.

Sometimes I have a little trouble letting myself be silly. It's not that I don't want to, you understand, it's that I'm concerned about looking silly. Undignified. Ridiculous, even. Will I ever get over that? (Only in the right circumstances, with enough encouragement.) Do you have trouble being silly and cutting loose?

Once upon a time, I had a better handle on dream time than I have now. I could program myself to dream solutions to problems or even to rerun a dream that was especially rich. Sometimes I chose to run  scenes from movies. Now I'm lucky if I remember a dream when I wake up. Yet every once in a while, I have the most curious and amazing dreams. Dreams of future events. Visitation dreams. Reminders of my competencies. Messages from my guides. I need to remember each and  every curious dream.

To be totally honest, when you're the reluctant partner in the end of a marriage  (or marriage-like relationship), even if you're the one who says "I can't do this anymore" and precipitates the rupture, actually severing the heart connection is WAY harder than  terminating the legal connection. The Beatles sang "gotta get you into my heart." Easy stuff. Develop an attachment, fall in love, and BAM! The object of your desire is there, in your thoughts, your longings, your dreams, your heart. Reverse engineering should be  just as simple. But it's not. Turns out that -- at least for long-term, wholehearted relationships, getting somebody out of your heart takes a whole hell of a lot longer and tons more effort & intention that getting them in your heart in the first place. When your heart gets broken, you've got to put yourself back together piece b...

Letting go of relationships,  things that are emotionally charged for us, of expectations, of illusions. . . . of thoughts that don't serve us. Letting go with grace involves coming to a place of surrender, leaving the resistance to "what is" behind. Letting go of the "why is this happening to me" questions  to ask  "what's next"  and "how do I want to be  as I move forward." The without regrets piece has to do with living whole-heartedly , showing up in your fullness and saying what you have to say from a place of love and compassion. Each and every day. Hmm. . . this sounds like soul work. Imagine!

One of the things that was magical about being a kid was playing dress-up, donning costumes and adult clothes and fancy costume jewelry and high heels miles too big. Pretending just for a moment that we were grown-up fancy  people. We could be a nurse or a fashion model or anything our imagination could manifest for those costumed minutes. Too often, as grown ups, we stop playing with possibility. Play dress up more often!

So many of us grew up absorbing messages that said don't shine don't brag deflect compliments or everyone will think you're conceited I know I did. And it doesn't serve me well to hold those injunctions. Shining is part of our purpose. By shining, we increase the light in the world and that's a good thing. Bragging, according to the dictionary, means to say something in a boastful manner. I usually associate it with playground one-upsman-ship. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't claim credit for our accomplishments and our creations. And as for deflecting compliments. . .  well, that's an insult to the judgment of the person  giving the compliment. If you haven't learned to receive compliments with genuine enthusiasm, at least remember to say "thank you" and then bite your tongue.

I haven't known that heady, out of control, you make my toes curl kind of feeling for  a long, long, time. I've spent lots of time  learning to be my own woman, traveling to places hither and yon sometimes without any travel companions. I've settled into a routine by now. It might be time to shake things up. Or then again. . .  why mess with a good thing?

It's all too easy to become jaded and cynical, especially if you allow yourself to be bombarded by constant bad news cycles from major media outlets. To preserve your sense of wonder watch a meteor shower walk at the seam between the ocean and the land  to breathe in the salt air and let yourself feel the pounding majesty of the ocean be amazed by floating green orbs in Ireland and listen to your inner wisdom tell you they're called fairy lights get still enough to hear stones sing  a galactic OM watch a baby being born wait for a hummingbird to dip and soar outside your window or the eagle to fly by on his way to the pond laugh with gusto cry with abandon just because commune with trees and imagine your roots intermingled with theirs trace the spiral patterns carved in ancient rocks  by your ancestors and own your inner shaman fall in love try to mix paint in the exact colors of a sunse...

Remember when you were a child and saw that first star in the evening sky and held your breath and made a wish? Star light star bright first star I see tonight I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish  I make tonight. . .  it's not quite the same and doesn't require searching the night skies (just your heart) but I think of setting intentions  as the adult equivalent of wishing on a star.  The difference is that setting intentions gets followed by creating choices  and taking action, at least if you want to manifest what you intend. I'm going to review my intentions for my coaching practice to see if they still fit. It's time for some new choices and actions.