Note to Myself # 18

This is a big one for me

because one of my assets is loyalty

to people I love.

I will cheer them on

tell them when I think they're making a mistake

urge them to take a chance when the risk seems reasonable

and pick them up when they've fallen.

That's what friends (or family) do for each other,

at least in my world view.

So my admonition is

"Always stand by your friends."

At the same time,

I know that there's a Shadow side to loyalty.

It can make you blind to instances 

where loyalty isn't a two-way street

and a person's behavior is deserving

of no-nonsense boundaries. . . .

including expulsion from your realm

until they've repented of their unacceptable actions.

Lying to or about you, for instance.

Being unfaithful.

Being emotionally abusive.

Expecting you to always be there for them

even when they're never around when you need them

Excessive loyalty can sometimes make you blind

to truths that everyone else can see.

Sometimes to be loyal to yourself,

you have to cut the ties that bind

and walk away.