Note to Myself # 13

When we're little girls

(or boys, as the case might be)

the people around us teach us

who we are

or at least

who others think we are

but their reactions to us.

If we're lucky,

their labels for us are both positive

and fitting

and we incorporate those characterizations

into our self-image.

If they send negative messages like

you're so stupid!

how could you be so clumsy?

you'll never amount to anything!

can't you do anything right?

well, we incorporate those lies too.

One of the most difficult tasks

we face as adults is sorting

through the labels in our label bank

and deciding which ones fit

and which ones need to be sent

to the trash heap.

Keeping not only the good ones,

but owning some of the bad ones

that we've discovered for ourselves.

Each of us is sometimes too impatient,

lazy, too quick to anger,

unforgiving.

If we don't own the negatives,

to be very conscious of our Shadow side

if you will,

then those Shadow traits often run amok.

On the other hand,

if we don't think that we are 

kind and compassionate

smart and capable

loving and worthy of love

then we've lost the very best of us.

As children, we were captive

to messages from those whose realms

we were assigned or exposed to,

whether those messages were positive or negative,

whether they were accurate

or projections of their own stuff.

As adults, we get to 

make our own choices.

Decide who we are at the most basic levels.

We get to choose 

what we believe

in our heart of hearts

when we say

this is who I am.