Friday, January 28, 2011

The Soundtrack of Falling in Love



What a strange thing divorce is.

It terminates the legal construct called "marriage,"





     but it fails to sever the string of memories
you carry around, memories tucked neatly away
in some mental suitcase until something unpacks them.








Yesterday, I was sitting in Jason's hair studio,
sipping tea and watching the "trim"
turn into a major shearing, when the oldies station
played this piece of Fleetwood Mac history.



And the memories of falling in love
and its particular soundtrack came flooding back.




There was a little bar across the street and down the block
from the law school. 

It was a bit schizophenic:
a lunchtime hangout for law students and professors,
an after-shift blue collar bar, 
and a post-class study place for night law students 
after the doors were officially locked for the night.

There was a jukebox, playing through all the changes
in the cast of characters.

Some of the songs it played are forever embedded
 in my memories of falling in love.


Lou Rawls "You'll Never Find Another Love."


Keith Carradine's "I'm Easy."



and I shouldn't leave out Billy Preston and Syreeta's
"With You I'm Born Again."

And I'm wondering. . . 

will there ever be another someone
in my life
who makes lovin' fun?



16 comments:

Michele said...

Oh, Meri....that was a tough post to read. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to write it---to live it. Sending you hugs and thoughts of happier times to come.

Joey said...

Just when you are ready, love will come. Just when you start to fall in love with your life again, love will come. I am sure.

I totally hear you.

Gloria said...

Hi Meri. Your loss is deep and your heart mourns. So sad. I agree with Joey and that the time will come when the birds will be singing and you'll hear them, the green grass will grow and you'll look at it with wonder of the beauty and scent of grass and darn, it needs to be mowed, a song will play from times gone by and your heart will skip a beat and you'll want to go back into that mourning stage, but you won't. You'll listen to the words and remember of a time in your life that so embedded deeply, and think to yourself of how now you are once again a strong person. You will go on. I don't know you but I've been there, not in divorce but in losing a member of my immediate family. My thoughts are with you, stay strong.

Jinksy said...

There are many ways of loving, and a heart can cope with them every one! The main thing is having the ability to feel love at all. Just let negative emotions go on their own way...

miss*R said...

a very honest open post..I know the heartbreak of divorce.. it is gut wrenching.. I don't think the scar ever heals..
26years ago for me.. I did meet a someone else and we have been married 23years.. the wound has healed but the scar is still there.. opening when I hear of another's suffering.. songs bring it back, just like for you..
[I have also been through the death of a spouse.. and death is easier to deal with than the pain of divorce - well it was for me anyway.. kinda final, ya know?]

will you meet another - emphatically yes!!! it is planned in the Heavens I am sure xo

Leslie said...

Someone told me as I was just entering into the divorce process that it change's people. It was the most difficult thing that I have ever experienced. Unrelentingly difficult at times. And I did come out of the other side changed, but better in so many ways.

It's a crazy time, but you will be okay, and you will find the someone who makes lovin' fun.

You.

And then the other one.

Hang in there.

Jayne said...

Meri dear, you are so lovely. My heart goes out to you.
How could love not come to you again? Stray strong, Meri. Surround yourself with warm tea and all that you love. It may take time, but as Joey said, when you're ready it will happen.

Sandy K. said...

Meri, love is all around you. Keep your eyes and heart open to the possibilities. I feel your pain, and will tell you that my husband I just celebrated our 25th anniversary - a second marriage for both of us. It's been a joy and I praise every day of this second chance. I'm sorry for your loss...truly.

ellen abbott said...

Yes, I think so.

Annie said...

I still remember things from my divorce 38 years ago like the events happened yesterday. I also embrace the good that has happened in the past 33 years. I am a true believer that when you least expect it, love will find you.

Friko said...

Oh yes, definitely.
Falling in love seriously for the second time is even better than the first time. all those silly hang-ups you had first time round will disappear; you are an adult now and nothing matters but the new love.

Holding hands at an advanced age is not at all embarrassing and kissing in public, while walking down a busy street, never felt better.

Don't give up hope; you need to mourn your loss, the memories will be filtered through a haze of regret at first, then acceptance; in the end they will be memories without hurt or pain.

Life is sweet.

deb did it said...

Meri...just like the transformation of your face in the photos...your life is transforming everyday...walking thru the pain, sharing it here and looking forward is all part of the Love Plan....it will come, when you least expect it...and that smile will bust wide open all the way down here to Texas!

BHsiaLei (Chalet) said...

Hi Meri, thanks for visiting my other post. It is not easy to open up. Pamper yourself..

Carmen said...

you are so smart, beautiful and lovely
I am thinking of you and sending you thoughts of a prince charming and of happines on all the things you do very well and enjoy
bless your sweet honest precious heart!

rebecca said...

you,
embraceable you.
i want this for you.
the s l o w fall into complete surrender.
the deep hold of fascination when every moment stretches wide the scope of being.
you are so beautiful...and i want that some one who is living with the same longing to stumble into your ecstasy.

angel said...

your musings are heartfelt. just the other day a friend who has never been divorced but has witnessed a few of us who have, said it very well...in this day we see divorce happening so "easily", but there is nothing easy about it. heartbreaking. it's the loss of what we hoped for, what we invested so much of ourselves into. but i still believe meri, i still believe...