Sounds so easy, doesn't it?
When "what's true" happens to align with what you want
in your life, acceptance is a snap.
You conceived the minute you chose to start a family.
You've created a vibrant, nourishing marriage
to your soul mate.
Your interview skills are so fabulous
that you landed the dream job despite tons of competition.
Oh yeah, loving what's true
makes it easy as pie to accept it.
But what about the times when reality
breaks your heart?
The man you thought you would grow old with,
who lit up your life, dies.
Or he runs off with a younger woman.
Your body just doesn't cooperate
in the "doing what comes naturally" department.
You feel envy, not joy, when a friend announces,
"I got pregnant without even trying."
Despite sending out hundreds of resumes,
you can't seem to snag an interview,
let alone land a job... any job.
Those are times when we're likely to encounter
a big heap of resistance.
"This shouldn't be happening."
"This should be easier."
"It should be me, not her."
Those also are times when we're most likely
to get all snarled up in
trying to figure out an answer to the cosmic WHY?
Asking why may be productive when there's a chance
the answer will lead us to a solution.
"Why?" may drive us to a fertility specialist
to determine what is making conception difficult
and to constructing a list of options
if the chance of achieving
pregnancy "naturally" is remote.
"Why did he have to die?" may be a valid question
if you're wondering whether there's a genetic risk factor
that may impact your offspring.
The "why isn't my resume leading to interviews?"
kind of question may drive you to a how-to seminar
or a coach that can help you maximize
your success to efforts ratio.
The cosmic why's are a different matter.
"Why did he have to die?"
"Why doesn't he love me anymore?"
"Why can't I get pregnant when promiscuous teenagers
get knocked up without even trying?"
both exemplify and deepen resistance
to what is.
There are better questions to ask.
Questions to move you forward.
Some of those might include:
What's next for me?
How do I want to show up
in this situation?
What are the options?
What can I do differently
to create different results?
What can I learn from this experience?
What does this open up for me that I didn't see before?
I'll be offering thoughts on better questions
in future posts.