True Words Tuesday: Acceptance

Sounds so easy, doesn't it?

When "what's true" happens to align with what you want

in your life, acceptance is a snap.

You conceived the minute you chose to start a family.

You've created a vibrant, nourishing marriage 

to your soul mate.

Your interview skills are so fabulous 

that you landed the dream job despite tons of competition.

Oh yeah, loving what's true 

makes it easy as pie to accept it.

But what about the times when reality

breaks your heart?

The man you thought you would grow old with,

who lit up your life, dies. 

Or he runs off with a younger woman.

Your body just doesn't cooperate 

in the "doing what comes naturally" department. 

You feel envy, not joy, when a friend announces,

 "I got pregnant without even trying."

Despite sending out hundreds of resumes,

you can't seem to snag an interview, 

let alone land a job... any job.

Those are times when we're likely to encounter

a big heap of resistance.

"This shouldn't be happening."

"This should be easier."

"It should be me, not her."

Those also are times when we're most likely

to get all snarled up in 

trying to figure out an answer to the cosmic WHY?

Asking why may be productive when there's a chance

the answer will lead us to a solution.

"Why?" may drive us to a fertility specialist

to determine what is making conception difficult

and to constructing a list of options

 if the chance of achieving 

pregnancy "naturally" is remote.

"Why did he have to die?" may be a valid question

if you're wondering whether there's a genetic risk factor

that may impact your offspring.

The "why isn't my resume leading to interviews?"

kind of question may drive you to a how-to seminar

or a coach that can help you maximize 

your success to efforts ratio.

The cosmic why's are a different matter.

Questions like

"Why did he have to die?"

"Why doesn't he love me anymore?"

"Why can't I get pregnant when promiscuous teenagers

get knocked up without even trying?" 

both exemplify and deepen resistance 

to what is.

There are better questions to ask.

Questions to move you forward.

Some of those might include:

What's next for me?

How do I want to show up

 in this situation?

What are the options?

What can I do differently

 to create different results?

What can I learn from this experience?

What does this open up for me that I didn't see before?

I'll be offering thoughts on better questions

in future posts.