Thursday, December 1, 2011


In a workshop I attended recently, each participant
was asked to select a bit of metal from a bowl, 
bits with words embossed on them, 
to choose by heart, 
to choose without looking, 
and then to tell a story from your own life 
that sprang from the word.

My word was
© 2011 Meri Arnett-Kremian

I told of relationships being over
before I was willing to release them; 
of marriages torn asunder;  
of three infant sons, born years apart,
each premature, whose lives were over
within days or weeks of their births
because. . . . well, just because.

I told of wanting to hold on to what was gone,
 of raging against reality.
Of coming altogether-too-slowly to Ashe-E-Tah, 
surrender, acceptance of what is.

Times of having to learn the meaning of
kindness from the inside out
and applying it most gently to myself.
© 2011 Meri Arnett-Kremian

I could have told of times when I declared things
over before their time, times when I was too young
to have lived the cycles 
in which love and desire ebbs and flows, 
in which embers suddenly pop and spark 
and just the smallest bit of tinder brings forth new flame.

Too young to realize that if you abandon
a relationship that hasn’t fulfilled its reason for being,
hasn’t taught you the lessons,
then you’re bound to get smacked upside the head
somewhere down the line.
Too young to understand
that when that inevitable smack made contact,
it was going to pack a potent punch.

I told of learning that when things are over, 
there are no shortcuts,
no getting around the pain of loss,
the sense of failure, 
the yip of unfairness.

The only way to get over “over” is to sit with it, 
to listen to your inner wisdom and let it guide you through, 
through to the lesson.
© 2011 Meri Arnett-Kremian

I told of finding in “overness” 
a new space where possibility dwells, 
even if it is merely a seed lying dormant
in the dark waiting for the ground to soften 
and grow moist, waiting for me
to risk being vulnerable again, 
waiting for hope to triumph over sadness.

© 2009 Meri Arnett-Kremian
What story do you hold of OVER?


Anonymous said...

yesterday i realised that a friendship i had had close to y heart was over. she and i had been friends since we were 6, but had drifted apart durng our 20s. i still thought of her as a close friend, and rang her up as much as i could, and kept in touch when i could. but then i realised that it was very one sided. i was the one making all the effort. and when i met with her yesterday, there was little she had to say. it hurts that a relationship i had held dear meant little to her, and sad to realise that that is one friendship that is over.

Unknown said...

Oops the word was 'over' not close. The days of the joy from our Koi pond are over. Had to face the reality of too much upkeep for us. But it all went to a better place for someone to enjoy. Some family has our Koi to rejoice in. There were 21 we had raised and kept health. Over 13 years we had lost only 5.

Gayle said...

At this stage of life, there are lots of "overs", but thankfully....
lots of "beginnings" as well. I do know I am not over you....I love your thoughts, words....keep writing!!

Stephanie said...

Such a loaded word have shared so many intimate stories here.

one can also look at it as 'over the top' in a good and happy way.


Unknown said...

This is a beautiful post...
I can tell you are a writer.
This will haunt me all day.

rebecca said...

you know my heart stood still when i read your chosen word! of all the words meri...this is a powerful one for you.
your writing is raw, real and wonderful. our most difficult challenges contribute fully to our substance as caring open hearted people. you are a women of great substance, wisdom and heart.
i am so fortunate to know you.

Cheryl said...

I guess the days of me being able to drive into San Francisco on a whim or because I'm feeling melancholy are over. Sad but true. I told my family I was going to make Seattle my new "City by the Bay" but I haven't yet. Some day. Not now. But some day.

Leovi said...

Beautiful photos my favorite is the penultimate, lovely words, I like, full of poetry. Greetings.

foxysue said...

What an outpouring, getting over 'over' is so haaaaard! Even though we know we must as it is a steal-er.

Sue x

Laura said...

Meri, this is beautiful and oh so wise. I loved what you said here especially "Times of having to learn the meaning of kindness from the inside out and applying it most gently to myself." Wow!

Fallingladies said...

I have tears in my eyes from reading your post and sitting with my stories of "over" ... Thanks for such a moving post!

I think I'll try to come back for you Thursday kinky.

somepinkflowers said...


i would tell the story
of Going
Over There ---->

for all words
are travel words
2 me...

moving onward words...

on the other side
of the mountain words...

{{ i just don't want
to miss a thing }}

deb did it said...

~over~ I wrote a post about this very thing...entitled "Another Clink"

It is about closing the gate behind more time, ending, closing and beginning the process to get "over" a relationship/marriage.

Meri, this is so honest. So well written. I believe you have the beautiful ability to gently open the hearts of some who have closed their own. Thank you.

Eryl said...

Such wise and learned musings. I hope you apply that kindness to yourself regularly, like balm.

I'm currently trying to get over the fact that I can't do everything I'd like to.