Monday, December 12, 2011

Closing Doors

I read a passage in a book not long ago 
that said one of most painful kinds of marriage 
is one in which your partner refuses 
to fully commit his (or her) heart. 
I can vouch for that.

For love to grow and flourish, 
the author said, 
the exit door has to close. 

People can't grow within a relationship 
if one partner is clinging to the thought 
that somewhere out there, 
there might be someone better. 
If that partner secretly searches 
for a better deal, all the while taking refuge 
in the comfort of the marriage, the relationship can't 
-- and probably shouldn't -- endure.

It takes a grown up to make 
a commitment to fidelity, 
to making one's Beloved "the love of a lifetime,"
to the notion that closing the door 
to other potential partners opens up a big space 
in the soul for a whole-hearted connection. 

Let's hear it for fully latched doors
and the grownups who close them.

Let's hear it for love protected by lovers with integrity.


Anonymous said...

Yes, yes and (resounding) YES.

Thank you for this. It's profound and spot-on.

PJ said...

Everything Ti said!

The cold draft whooshing by stops once the door is closed. Only then can you feel the comfort of home.

Thank you so much for this! Perfect timing for my life at this moment.

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

Wise words and oh so true. Your door images are absolutely magnificent. Blessings, Tammye

ellen abbott said...

that's what I tell people when they ask how to make a marriage last. 'Quit looking'. You have to stop looking for a better deal once you've bought the item.

Stephanie said...

I hope that that one closed door will open many many more!!!


Unknown said...

I love to paint doors. My doors are closed but open to the possibility that it may be opened.Our commitment to our commitment was our marriage made 51 years ago. What does an old lady and an old man know about love. We know true love lasts. Not always happy but a commitment to a commitment. I look back now and know what love means. Not just a sexual attraction. blessings to you and yours dear sista.

Dawn Elliott said...

Your post is so profound, and I couldn't agree more! I thank my lucky stars every day because I finally found a grown-up to share love with. It took until age 47...but hey! Awesome door photos!

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

Those doors are just sizzling with color--well, the walls are...but you knew what I meant! (San Miguel de Allende, I presume.)