Saturday, April 23, 2011

Cooking





Cooking is like love.
It should be entered into
 with abandon or not at all.  

Harriet Van Horne





Are you a stick-to-the-recipe kind of cook
or a follow-your-instincts one?

Do you precisely measure ingredients or do you eyeball?

And can you remember the biggest food flop
you've ever created?

I can.

We had invited a couple over for dinner.
I was making Quiche Lorraine in my 14" quiche plate
with a sinfully rich press-in-butter pastry.

I was also making a spinach salad
(more bacon, more eggs)

and a Baked Alaska
(you've got it: More eggs!)

Somewhere in the back of my mind,
I must have worried about having my guests 
and the love of my life
drop dead of clogged arteries
before the end of the evening
but it was one of those unarticulated,
free floating thoughts.

The quiche usually took 1 hr 15 minutes
to bake, but not that night.

I checked it at an hour---
still a liquid puddle.
Same after another 15 minutes.
30 minutes.
45 minutes.
It was a little less soggy,
but not the usual fluffy delicacy.

My guests weren't ruffled
because they were pouring a fine Merlot
more often than I was checking the oven.
Sloshed doesn't even begin to cover their condition.

And finally,
after two hours of mother-henning the quiche,
I served it anyway.

Because I'm not much of a drinker,
I was the only one who realized
that the quiche
was nothing but bacon, Swiss Cheese,
cream and grated nutmeg.

I had never poured in the eggs.

Oops!



12 comments:

beth said...

OMG.....that just made me laugh out loud !!!

Kate I said...

Thanks for sharing this story...I had such a good laugh and yes, I'd had my share of food disasters over the years!!

(still giggling!)

Kamana said...

LOL!!! Oh that is hilarious!!!

Bonnie said...

What would we do without the wine -it seems to make any big cooking flop nothing more than a good laugh. It seems, too, that those are the evenings we often remember fondly.

I've had a few major catastrophes and been the guest for a few. Just have some good bread, bosc pears and great cheeses on hand to go with the wine and everyone can leave sated.

gemma said...

The first time I made quiche it came out fantastic.I was drinking vin
while cooking LOL. My quiche has never been as good since then.

ellen abbott said...

Oh, thanks for the laugh. as for cooking...I measure but I'm OK with substituting...when I cook that is. these days husband does 90% of the cooking.

foxysue said...

Hi Meri,

This Easter Sunday morning your egg story got me chuckling!

Have a lovely day,

sue x

rebecca said...

i love you meri!

Noelle Renee said...

That is so funny! That actually happened to me once too on a first date with a guy I thought was a total dreamboat. I was making quiche too and did the same exact thing. I thought I was the only one! Welcome to the club, Meri!
Happy Easter,
Noelle

Stephanie said...

ha! I am taking a break from cooking right this moment...my daughter just asked me 'have you ever cooked before'?

time to check my email :)

happy day
x..x

deb did it said...

this is hilarious...a perfect Easter story!!

JanePoet ~ deborah said...

Awesome story Meri - thanks for the morning chuckle!!