Thursday, October 21, 2010

Another 55 Word Flash Fiction: Ink on a Page



This 55-word stuff is incredibly challenging. 
Even if you get a concept quickly, 
executing the idea in such a spare format 
requires editing and re-editing, constant counting. 
55 words, no more, no fewer. 
What stays and what's surplus? 
Always mindful that every word has to count. 
Plot trumps description. 
Cohesive narrative required. 
Yet for all the brevity,  
you want to insert a twist, 
bring an unexpected guest to the table.



Doodles. © 2010 Meri Arnett-Kremian. All rights reserved.



He went first. The graphoanalyst told them what to write.

She studied the exemplars, then said, 
 "Your wife is incredibly brilliant."

She paused. "What does she see in you?"

Chuckle. "Oh, I see. You're an animal."

Right on both counts.

Leopard man. 

Once lithe and agile. Sexy.  


New substitute wife. Dumb blonde.

Same old spots.

14 comments:

Expat From Hell said...

I am fascinated by the tight prose and direct-hit organization that you have here. Not sure what to do with it, but I think I will just stand here and be impressed for the moment. Nice work, as always. EFH

Meri said...

EFH: It's really a disciplined form of play, this fifty five word thing. Brevity is not my strength, but the economy of expression keeps calling out to me. And I love the control over endings you have. . . sweet, spicy, suggestive, surreal.

PattiKen said...

Love the final lines! You did a great job getting that little twist at the end.

G-Man said...

Most excellent job indeed Meri
Interesting read, with a great finale!
Perfect 55 My Dear...
You Rock!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Belinda said...

Clever 55! Loved the twist.

Brian Miller said...

ha. most excellent you got a lot in there...leaopard man...hmm...chuckles at your twist and close...

Eric Alder said...

That leopard man never changes, eh?

Nice 55, Meri!

Monkey Man said...

Fifty-fives are quite the challenge and they become addictive due to the challenge. Stay with us, you're good.

My 55 is HERE .

joanny said...

Ah I love this one, especially the ending, clever and witty 55er.

cheers,
joanny

love the art ---

joanny said...

Meri:

Thanks for the lovely comment yes I do haiku's not always to strict 5-7-5 standard.

Became a follower of a yours- a Pacific North-Wester as well.

cheers,
joanny

Jannie Funster said...

Hello!

I'm a spammer with exciting erectile enhancement news for you!

JK, JK!

Now that I've mailed 6 snailmails hither and yon, I know I'm open to all kinds of judgements should hand-writing experts delve into my fragile psyche. But that's a chance I just had to take. :)

this is brill! You are quite deep and humorous.

Xo

Relyn said...

Hilarious! I love this!

Kimberly said...

I knew when you said "what does she see in you." Animal is perfectly metaphoric for FTK.

Meri said...

PattiKen, G-Man, Belinda, Brian, Eric, Monkey Man, Joanny and Jannie:
You guys rock! I'm loving this challenge and reading what you all have to say. I've already done my piece for this week. . .