Love List

It's been so long since I loved anyone

in that romantic,

let's partner up forever

kind of way.

Almost half a decade

since my last "date."

I've pretty much given up

on finding love again

because it just doesn't seem

like it's going to happen.

There just aren't many organic ways

of meeting suitable partners

if you're not in school or the workplace.

But don't feel sorry for me.

I've had lots of love interests in the past.

Some I'd call "love prep" partners,

because. . . well, you get what I mean.

Some were full on, flat out, all-consuming loves.

Looking back, I wonder if that was a good or a bad thing.

But that's neither here nor there.

With one of those milestone birthdays approaching,

I'm looking back and celebrating the romantic loves

of my life to date.

Here's the list.

1. Steven Louis Hellwig - birthday April 12

hometown - Shoreline, WA

Best male friend and confidant in jr. high

and high school. Didn't realize at the time

that was companionate love.

Dark curly hair, dark eyes.

Smart, deeply loyal, kind and funny.
Died in Vietnam during the Tet offensive.

2. Chet Jacobs - birthday September 17, I think.

Hometown - Seattle (Nathan Hale High School)

A shy guy who stuttered 

and was as sweet and kind as they make 'em.

He picked me up after school with flowers on the day

the cheer squad was announced. I asked him

how he knew I'd be picked and he said that they were

flowers of celebration if I made the squad

and consolation if I didn't.

That's the kind of partner a girl or woman deserves.

3. Donn Walden Hedmann - birthday January 29, if

I remember right. Hometown -- well, Seattle when I knew him

(Ingraham High School) though he'd lived

in Africa earlier in his life.

He was tall and lanky and beautiful,

with green eyes and creativity oozing out of him.

Played Moonlight Sonata on the piano for me.

Needed blinders to keep his eyes off other girls.

Other than that, gets the McDreamy award,

for looks and creativity alone.

4. James Ralph Swimelar - birthday December 6 I think.

Hometown - Seattle (Ingraham High School)

and Donn's locker partner senior year.

Dark hair and dark eyes (not my usual type).

Lots of chemistry, but I'm not sure we had much in common.

He was the prom date x 2 -- his and mine.

He always smelled like cigarettes.

5. Darryl Lee Smith - birthday September 4.

Hometown - well, at the time, his family lived in Provo, Utah

because his dad was at Hill Air Force Base.

We met in college. He was another tall

and lanky one, blond and blue-eyed, with wavy hair.

He played baseball and golf, was a frat guy.

 He probably would have made a good husband,

but alas -- after a while, I loved him way less

than he loved me. It may have had something to do

with the fact he was the younger brother of an older sister

and I was the older sister of a younger brother.

He was too willing to be bossed around
(and I was enough of a bitch to do it).

He was a first class flower giver --

flowers delivered to me every weekend

at my dorm.

6. Michael James Mathis - birthday September 19.

Hometown - Shoreline, WA. (Shoreline High School)

Tall, lanky, with dark hair and eyes.

Creative - into art/illustration.

The chemistry was undeniable

and though there was no long-term potential

(he had too many female interests)

he taught me a lot. 

Use your imagination.

(He wins the McSteamy award).

Followed his passion of skiing

and after college, had a succession of jobs

in some of the best ski resorts in the west.

Sun Valley, Aspen, Snowbird, and Big Sky

are some that come to mind.

7. Jon Robert Westergaard - birthday May 15

Hometown - Seattle, WA (The Lakeside School).

My first husband.

Musically inclined (viola and singing),

an engineering major.

Tall, lanky, dark hair and blue eyes.

Gorgeous is the word that comes to mind

when describing him in our college days.

Marriage couldn't survive the loss of 

two preemies (6 years apart)

and me going to law school.

But I'd rank him as one of the truly great guys.

8. F. Terry Kremian - birthday July 13

Hometown - south Chicago area

USNA grad - former fighter pilot USMC

law school grad

not-so-tall (which made dancing and kissing 

while standing SO much easier) - like 5'10"

dark blond hair and green eyes

very eastern European features

(derived from his half Lithuanian heritage).

How I would have described him at the beginning

is way different from how I'd describe him now,

after living through 23 years together

and being 15 years post-separation and divorce.

But (positive points) - 

he was a great kisser, good dancer, naturally athletic,

smart but not studious, a great provider, possessed

of great leadership skills, a reader and accumulator of books,

a romantic at heart, bringer of flowers, loved to give presents (jewelry being a favorite), 
and many more that I'm overlooking.

He had a couple of major flaws that proved

fatal to lasting marriage,

one of which was acting on attraction to other women.

But that's his third wife's problem now

(though he swore to me that he would grow up 

and be faithful to her).

So there's the love list.