Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hearing Voices

This is one of those things that you're not supposed to admit,
but on occasion, I've heard voices.

One night many years ago,
when my husband was out of town,
I was awakened by a booming voice,
the kind you imagine that God has.

It was a man's voice, a deep baritone.
And it said to me,
"The ability to evoke emotion with written words
is a gift. Quit squandering it."

It was a little unnerving. I knew I was alone,
but here was this disembodied voice
giving me an emphatic directive.

I told a therapist friend about it.
She laughed and reassured me
that I wasn't having a psychotic break.
"What are you going to do about it?"
she wanted to know.

I lived for many years ignoring the message,
not doing what I'm clearly supposed to do.
Oh, it's not that I didn't write.
I did. On the slyHoarding the words.
Keeping them to myself.

but now it's time
to start letting them go.
So he won't scold me again.


rebecca said...

oh YES!
this is going to be good.

Jennifer said...

Meri, I'm so glad. Good for you! I can't wait to read your work.

What is it that makes you know that it's "what you are supposed to do?" I am not questioning your belief, rather, with respect and admiration, interested in how you came to this knowledge - if it came from more than the voice alone.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

You have certainly stopped 'hoarding words' since you shifted the focus of your blog! You seem to share much more of yourself now than before - at least that has been my perception.
And ... I like it!

Reya Mellicker said...

Nice new template here! Wow.

Hey I hear voices all the time. When I talked to a therapist about it, she asked me a few important questions: Do they command you? The answer: no they do not.

Do they tell you to do destructive things? The answer: just the opposite! They advise me to be kind and compassionate.

Are you able to differentiate between the voices and "reality"? The answer: yes.

She said, "You're a mystic. Mystics have always received divine advice."

And so it is.

Keep writing!

georgia b. said...

woo hoo!!

that's awesome. although i have not heard voices {except talking birds *wink*}, i have felt the same about my artistic endeavors. like "it's time to stop wasting your talents!"

and though i am not a writer in my eyes, i want to start being more bold with that, too. so i thought recently of starting a blog that is just for writing. no photos. just words. a place for me to practice.

i love that you heard that voice and are listening to it now! that is awesome. when you need a cheer leader, you just let me know. i'm cheering you now!

Kamana said...

yes!!!! i am glad you made that decision.

Bagman and Butler said...

Always follow the voice! Mine usually speaks in whispers, however. And says things that I want to ignore. Go with it!

Allegra Smith said...

How lonely we would be without the voices. Mine speak many languages and for a while I thought I needed to understand each and every one. Now instead, I try to listen to the softest one. The one who speaks so quietly that I must make an effort to understand. And when I do, I follow the request, surrendering to the inevitable with a smile in my face.

Relyn said...

Good for you!! I read this and smiled and my one thought was, "Be brave, Meri. Be brave."

Naquillity said...

looking forward to reading your work as i'm sure it will be as good as your photography is. i especially like that first picture.

i have to tell you since you've posted these light streaks that i made a light streak down a length of side road during the full moon. that was the coolest thing. i look forward to playing more with that sometime soon. have a great day.

deb did it said...

Meri...keep listening....so far your voice is beautiful, well written and well received...I love reading YOU.