Meri's Musings

Once, a few years ago, I attended a writing conference on the campus of Brown University.  The summer session was taking place, so there were lots of students around (some of whom thanked us for coming,  because the food in the cafeteria improved when there were conferences on campus). One day, as I was walking between workshops, I paused to watch a young man who was practicing his skills as a tightrope walked. He had a rope tautly stretch between two large trees, perhaps two to three feet off the ground. Enough height to practice, but not enough to break bones  if balance didn't outwit gravity. He moved slowly, with determination, a look of concentration on his face. One foot. . . then gingerly, the next foot. Sometimes his arms shot out to steady him. And sometimes, his arms weren't enough and he'd fall (or self-propel) from the tightrope. He'd shake off the mishap and mount the rope again, always lookin...

Let's face it: nobody's perfect. Each of us is a hot mess of contradictions. Sometimes patient and kind, sometimes snappish and irritable. Shadow and light. Light and shadow. Even our most cherished qualities have a negative side. For example, being loving and forgiving is generally seen as a positive thing. But, if inappropriately overdone, it can lead to enabling, becoming a doormat, turning the other cheek  when the offending party  has no interest in curbing his or her egregious behavior. And those negative parts of ourselves that we're critical of? Those bouts of aggravation  tell us our boundaries are being violated and we need to act. . . to confront someone's behavior  that violates our standards or threatens our self-esteem. Or to examine what is putting us on red alert in order  to see  whether we're reacting appropriately to a here-and-now violation  or whether so...