Meri's Musings

soft and prickly sweet and sometimes in-your-face versatile and inflexible inspired and tired insightful and sometimes inexplicably obtuse it's the mix that's magic

Some things are both obvious "Embrace Change" - quote and image by MeriMagic a/k/a Meri Arnett-Kremian and often more difficult than you hope.

I absolutely love this Mary Oliver quote. Often, it takes a while to adjust to darkness, to let your eyes and heart soften until you see the gift. . .  nearly invisible at first, perhaps only existing as possibility, as intention, as miracle unfolding. I have been thinking about that lately, as I begin work on a presentation about the emotional aspects of divorce. Some people, of course, see divorce as the light at the end of the tunnel. For others, however, divorce is that  box of darkness. My intention for this presentation, to be offered free to new divorce clients at select family law specialty firms in my geographic area, is to help those people who feel like all the light in their lives has vanished, like they have entered a zone marked "Without Hope," to reorient themselves. To realize their feet are, indeed, on the ground and they know instinctively  which way is up. To help them...

What gives me joy? Saying YES selectively, "Affirmative" by MeriMagic (Meri Arnett-Kremian) on Polyvore. only to those things that ignite my curiosity, fan the flames of my passion or hold some seed of possibility I find worth planting given other demands on my time. That's been a hard lesson for me to learn. For too long, I said yes reflexively. To almost anything and anyone. That's an invitation for burn-out. One of the wisdom gifts of getting older is discernment. What gives you JOY? Share the Joy.  1. do a post that tells and shows what gives you joy. 2. capture the URL of the specific post and paste it into  the Mr. Linky box along with your info. 3. Visit other players and let their joy infect you. Leave them a comment because everyone  enJOYS getting positive feedback. Let's start an epidemic of JOY!

Low key morning. Making a little art "Melange" created by MeriMagic on Polyvore waiting for a conference call  to discuss my newest memoir chapter then off to lunch with a new LinkedIn contact to explore the possibility of collaboration. Went to a planetary healing workshop with Nicki Scully yesterday. What's new in your world?

I'll admit it. Finding joy in unlikely places is one of my special gifts. I love colorful, rusty, decaying things that remind me that aging is a natural process and carries its own beauty. Reflections definitely make the joy list for me. . .  even when the Space Needle looks all tangled up. Blog hopping each week to visit all of you makes my heart sing. What gives you JOY? Share the Joy.  1. do a post that tells and shows what gives you joy. 2. capture the URL of the specific post and paste it into  the Mr. Linky box along with your info. 3. Visit other players and let their joy infect you. Leave them a comment because everyone  enJOYS getting positive feedback. Let's start an epidemic of JOY!

Be unabashedly unreservedly unapologetically the YOU you were meant to be. Carbon copies are decidedly outdated.

It seems to me that if I am  true to myself and passionately curious, I'll go where I need to go and do what I need to do. With gusto!

Sometimes when we're face with a difficult choice we need to find the strength  to make the best decision we can given the extent of our knowledge  and inner wisdom and then make a pact to look forward to move ahead without second-guessing or beating ourselves up.

We all have something to contribute. It may be our compassion, a quirky sense of humor, our capacity to be truth tellers. It may be the beauty we create  with our hands, words, or voices. It may be the peace we create within and radiate outward. It might be our unique way of problem-solving, the way we laugh, how we help others connect  with just the right people, our curiosity and enthusiasm. But like Dr. Seuss said, there's nobody who is you-er than you. Celebrate you. You're one of a kind.

Sometimes I have a little trouble letting myself be silly. It's not that I don't want to, you understand, it's that I'm concerned about looking silly. Undignified. Ridiculous, even. Will I ever get over that? (Only in the right circumstances, with enough encouragement.) Do you have trouble being silly and cutting loose?

One of the things we did in coach training was to create what I call "essence statements." Descriptions of who we are at our essence. We did two, actually. One for who we are personally and the second for who we are as coaches. The personal one I did morphed over time. The first version had phrases from colleagues and some of them just didn't wear well. But, as it finally evolved, it went like this: I am God's magic on display; mystic beloved; intrepid creative explorer;  seer, sage and storyteller; and midwife of meaningful change. When we got to the "who am I as coach?" portion  of the training, the new statement read: I am soul healer, dream weaver, life artist, joy activator and midwife of meaningful change. Somewhere in the midst of the words is the essence of who I am. So, who are you? Can you put it into words?

Once upon a time, I had a better handle on dream time than I have now. I could program myself to dream solutions to problems or even to rerun a dream that was especially rich. Sometimes I chose to run  scenes from movies. Now I'm lucky if I remember a dream when I wake up. Yet every once in a while, I have the most curious and amazing dreams. Dreams of future events. Visitation dreams. Reminders of my competencies. Messages from my guides. I need to remember each and  every curious dream.

To be totally honest, when you're the reluctant partner in the end of a marriage  (or marriage-like relationship), even if you're the one who says "I can't do this anymore" and precipitates the rupture, actually severing the heart connection is WAY harder than  terminating the legal connection. The Beatles sang "gotta get you into my heart." Easy stuff. Develop an attachment, fall in love, and BAM! The object of your desire is there, in your thoughts, your longings, your dreams, your heart. Reverse engineering should be  just as simple. But it's not. Turns out that -- at least for long-term, wholehearted relationships, getting somebody out of your heart takes a whole hell of a lot longer and tons more effort & intention that getting them in your heart in the first place. When your heart gets broken, you've got to put yourself back together piece b...

Letting go of relationships,  things that are emotionally charged for us, of expectations, of illusions. . . . of thoughts that don't serve us. Letting go with grace involves coming to a place of surrender, leaving the resistance to "what is" behind. Letting go of the "why is this happening to me" questions  to ask  "what's next"  and "how do I want to be  as I move forward." The without regrets piece has to do with living whole-heartedly , showing up in your fullness and saying what you have to say from a place of love and compassion. Each and every day. Hmm. . . this sounds like soul work. Imagine!

I didn't mean this literally. I was thinking that sometimes I was a bit  of a doormat, putting up with things that were intolerable really, just to make relationships work because I like peace and harmony and prefer happily ever after. Sometimes, metaphorically at least, a girl needs to call it quits . When you've done all you can to change the relationship status quo and things just keep defaulting back to the same old unacceptable behaviors.  Some relationships are so toxic, they're not worth saving. And you might as well be sassy and witty and wear cute shoes as you step out to a new life, a new relationship with yourself. But a young woman who saw this related that when she broke up  with her boyfriend in college, she was wearing really stylish ankle boots with a spike heel and for years, whenever she saw him, he would put on a sad face and say "You broke my heart in those boots." ...

Your body style, like mine, is something your genes stick you with. You can feed it wisely, keep it toned and flexible, but trust me. . . . if you're programmed for curvy, you're never going to look like Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables unless you're abusing your body every which way. Love your curves. p.s. I'm going to be jumping up and down and screaming today, strictly for  cardiovascular fitness. Go Seahawks!

This one can be really challenging for smart people with a gift for analyzing. You know something deep in your gut without knowing how you know exactly and then your rational mind takes over and says, "Well, there's no proof of that." or  even more damning "You're just making that up." And so, all too often,  the rational wrong wins over the intuitive right. If you're finding it hard to trust your inner wisdom, the whispers of your intuitive self, start small. Act as if the voice or knowing makes perfect sense and test it out on some small thing like. . . say choice of routes to where you're going and see what synchronicities develop. Or perhaps you can learn, as I did, by negative implication. Once I started paying attention to -- but not always following the wisdom of -- my Higher Self, I quickly learned I always end up in a traffic mess  if I ignore the inne...

One of the things that was magical about being a kid was playing dress-up, donning costumes and adult clothes and fancy costume jewelry and high heels miles too big. Pretending just for a moment that we were grown-up fancy  people. We could be a nurse or a fashion model or anything our imagination could manifest for those costumed minutes. Too often, as grown ups, we stop playing with possibility. Play dress up more often!

It's easy to wrap yourself in a cocoon of excuses, self-doubt, and "the way it's always been"s. It's scary to take a stand for yourself and your dreams. Do it anyway.